I hate ignorance. Couple that with arrogance and there you have a recipe for an individual that frustrates me to no end. This post may come off as narcissistic but I assure you it is not. I do realize that sometimes people including myself are just plain “unaware” of certain things or subjects but what irks me beyond words is when an individual talks out of the back of their head all the while subtly insisting that it is irrefutable fact. Ignorance breeds ignorance unless there has been some eye-opening towards the path of enlightenment.
I don’t understand how, in this “Information Speedway” that we live in, there can be any tangible excuse for remaining completely oblivious to well known and well reported statements either by the media, organizations or just a vast majority of everyday individuals. It floors me how some people live like ostriches (and even
they don’t actually bury their heads like some folks I know).
I don’t profess by any means that I am a professional, other than that given to me by my licensing body for nursing, but I do know a thing or two. Motherhood is something I still consider myself “new” at even though I have a near-two year old and an infant in my household. There are literally thousands of moms who have an enormous ladder of hierarchy looming over my head but I do feel that even with my few years of this career, I do have something to put forth. I am proud that when I don’t know something, I will do what I can to learn about it. Ask questions, read books, Google it, etc. I’m actually known for my extensive research on subjects; it’s an ongoing joke within my family & friends. I don’t expect others to do the amount of research that I do because frankly, I love learning. I thrive on it. Although if you ask my high school teachers they might profess a different story to you; I was too much of a social butterfly but those are stories for another post.
I was really challenged the other day when I met up with a newer mom than I, and was completely astounded by her lack of any updated knowledge about raising a child. I could see that if she were from a hard background or lacked the means of gaining knowledge it would be a suitable reason for being badly informed but this is not the case. I also understand that every mom has a different method for raising their babies and I do not feel as though this is a bad thing. I think differences in people are what keeps us grounded as a community. If we did everything the same, no one would learn and no one would grow. But what irked me more than the fact that this mom encouraged opposite methods for childrearing than I, is that she indirectly insulted me over and over again as she religiously professed her tactics.
I could have disputed many things she was saying and could have thrown a few books at her (literally), or a modem for that matter. I could have vocalized the burning, heated argument that was brewing deep down within my gut. I could have debated her left, right and centre trying desperately to prove how wrong and how ignorant she was so that she could have a miraculous change of mindset and would leave as a new graduate of the college of The Informed. But instead I let her get away with it. I am excusing the lack of standing my ground for reasons of saving my breath on what would clearly be an empty chase but I think now that I was more afraid of my remarks being more “smart-assed” than “informative”, which wouldn’t have solved anything.
But to say the least, I was ticked off.
I have made many beautiful friendships with some brilliant moms all who raise their children differently from one another. Who is right and who is wrong is so subjective and is in fact an irresponsible topic to broach especially if it is a friendship that you wish to keep. I would never have the nerve to boldly step into another parents home and foolishly proclaim with a smile on my face that what I do, and how I do it, is the benchmark to be judged by. Please slap me if I ever do (or throw a modem at me). I have always carried the philosophy that everyone can learn something from another individual, no matter how different they are. I am always learning from other moms what works for them, what doesn’t and then see if any of it fits into my lifestyle, my values and beliefs. If asked, I’ll explain what I think and why. What I learned from this mom is that arrogance is not a trait I ever want to embrace.
I won’t discuss her “ideas” because the more I think about them, the more I wish I would have just thrown the latest edition of Today’s Parent at her and hoped that by some miracle of osmosis that as the magazine bounced of her head something would’ve seeped into her brain. She did not have any problems talking at length about what she would do, what she does do, what she doesn’t do and never about what she
should have done. This makes me wonder if her pride and her omission of past mistakes (which most moms can attest to) is not but a disguise for a certain hesitation, perhaps based in low self-esteem and self-confidence. Either she was trying to prove her worth as a mother or she is unfortunately as imperceptive as she seems. The latter seems more probable as with her self-righteousness came attacks towards me. Perhaps she intended every hurtful thing she said. Perhaps I enabled it by not showing the body language of a victim, instead just nodding along saying things like “Oh? Is that right?”, “I see”, “Oh, yeah”, “Mm hmm”. Perhaps I should have thrown something… a right hook maybe.
I can’t be bothered to be associated with people like this. I don’t have time for them, nor do I really give a darn what they have to say. It still makes me aghast that these ancient thoughts linger in people and they defy change and growth as humans should do. I don’t have the fight in me to contest every moronic idea that crosses my path or every moron.
As I end my post I will say this in my defense. I LOVE my “chunky” breastfed babies that “inconvience” me and keep me awake at night, making me “un-alert” for my “jobless” work day. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with them being “fat” and me being “huge” while pregnant. Chunky and healthy. I love it.
